As most of you know, I ended my relationship with Boy I Really Like (hereafter Ex #2). We won't take the time to rehash the details of getting into and out of that relationship. Sufficient to say, it ended. It was sad, but I'm glad we had a relationship. I learned a lot and it was really really great getting to know him and love him and be loved by him. But now, on to the next big thing. I gave myself about a month to recover and now I'm dating again.
Last night, a guy I met online called for a first date. We're going to see a play in Orem.
I decided that since I'm dating again now, I should call Brown Shorts (he's a UPS man so "Brown Shorts" is what my boss calls him). I went out with him once before I became exclusive with Ex #2. He told me to be sure to call if I'm ever available again, so I did. And this is the main point of the blog.
Calling a boy you previously shot down is an awkward experience. For me, it wasn't so much the fact that I had once rejected him as much as the fact that I had to call him: be the pursuer, not the receiver, temporarily leave behind my feminine energy. But since I had told him to stop calling me, the ball was in my court, so I had to. But what to do when I called? Should I ask him out? Just tell him he's allowed to ask me out again and I'd like him to? That seems unfair, since he would be caught totally off-guard. So should I invite him to do something? Should I plan it and pay for it?
Being the man is hard! You have to decide on a good time to call, and when you do call you don't know if you have his attention (if a boy calls you, you KNOW you have his attention). And you have to wonder if your potential sweetie is (still) interested. This should not be my job! But I suppose that's the price to pay for denying a guy (especially after one of your best first dates ever. Too bad ex #2 had a month head start on sweeping me off my feet.)
So I called him. It's very different being on the aggressor side of the equation. Mostly notably, I felt like I had to lead the conversation. Since I initated the call, I was sort of in charge. I had to come up with things to say, instead of just responding and being charming while the man worries about the details.
This whole thing is making me even more appreciative of men and how wonderful they are. No wonder men are some of my favorite people.
The phone call to Brown Shorts went great. He was super excited I had called and said he was definitely still interested in me. I said that normally I'd invite him over to dinner, but my house is a disaster while I'm redecorating, so perhaps we could go out to dinner instead. Now I'm trying to decide if I need to be the one to plan the date, since I think I technically invited him. Planning a good date is hard work!! I'm glad that normally my job is to just show up and be beautiful and charming!
After the lovely phone conversation with Brown Shorts, I headed out for an evening with my friend Valerie (I just decided that I'll use real names for my lady friends). Valerie told me that Ex #1 is now dating one of her co-workers. For some reason, that really tickeled me and I laughed and laughed. In fact, I'm still laughin now. And to Valerie's friend, I just have to say, "Best wishes. I hope every happiness for you. And good luck with that."
No comments:
Post a Comment