In the past two weeks, I've been on five dates with four different men (two first dates, one second date, and a fourth and fifth). In addition to this, there are currently three other men who email me every day and/or call occasionally.
And while each date, email, or phone conversation individually is fun and delightful, all-in-all, I'm getting a little tired of it. It's so much WORK to juggle this many guys. I mean just keeping them straight in my phone is a job. I have to label them with titles like "Matt from the Wedding" "Josh from Phoenix" "Thomas from Blood Bank" etc. I mean, I already told you about it becoming necessary to number people. Thankfully, Paul #1 and Paul #2 have both been disqualified from consideration now, so that simplifies things a bit.
I guess that's the update for now. Of the seven men listed above, there is one I like slightly more than the rest, but not enough to stop dating everyone else. Also of note, is the fact that I'm going to have to give the guy I've been out with five times the boot before too long. However, apparently not before the two dates he's already booked me for this week. He's such a super terrific guy, it's too bad he's not going to work out for me.
Also of concern: Valentine's Day. Eek.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Deluge
Friday night after work, I did some shopping at G.ateway (an ourdoor mall about 20 minutes from where I work). (it was an extraordinarily successful shopping trip, but that is not part of the story.) Towards the end of the evening I was walking down an empty sidewalk when I saw a man walking towards me. He was very familiar looking to me, so I stared at him as we walked, trying to place him. I noticed he was staring at me too, and sort of smirking, so he recognized me as well. After we passed I realized that he was a friend of Ex. #1. I felt sort of like a dork because I was in the ugliest pants I have ever owned in my life (hence, the need of a successful shopping trip) AND I figured he would be judging me for being out shopping alone on a Friday night instead of being on a date (in my defense, I was meeting a friend later that night).
But then I remembered: at that very moment, I had on my phone 2 voice messages from men wanting to take me out that I hadn't even bothered listening to yet, plus an unread email from a dreamy engineer in Phoenix who has been emailing twice a day. He might not have known any of that, but I did and it felt good.
Matt (formerly "Brown Shorts" but I've decided to start using real names) and I have been out three times now and have our fourth date scheduled for Saturday. He's coming over to my house to fix whatever I want and then we're going to eat pizza and watch a BBC series. For our last date, he took me to dinner and ice skating and then served me sparkling cider while we played games at his house.
I went out with a fella named Paul #1 (because there are two Pauls in my life currently). I thought he was a nice enough guy, but we didn't really hit it off. Then at the end of the date, he didn't walk me to the door. I was shocked-- that had never happened to me before. I wrote him off (and counted myself lucky because numbering Pauls is a bit de-humanizing, don't you think?), so you can imagine my surprise when he called the very next day. I was so shocked and unprepared that I just let him leave a message and we've been playing phone tag since then. (perhaps his lack of walking me to the door can be attributed to the fact that he's an engineer?)
Paul #2 has been emailing and texting daily and says he'll call tonight. He once complimented me on my proper use of grammar, so that won him big points in my book.
Sam currently lives in my same little town, but used to live in New York. Plus, he takes care of his elderly grandma, so he won points with me. He's been emailing.
Josh is the dreamy engineer mentioned above. He is so funny and smart and ambitious. Plus, I love my men to be nerdy and handy.
It occurred to me the other day that if all of these guys progress to the dating level, there won't be enough days in the week! But, let's not count our eggs before they've hatched. It will be interesting to see what happens next.
But then I remembered: at that very moment, I had on my phone 2 voice messages from men wanting to take me out that I hadn't even bothered listening to yet, plus an unread email from a dreamy engineer in Phoenix who has been emailing twice a day. He might not have known any of that, but I did and it felt good.
Matt (formerly "Brown Shorts" but I've decided to start using real names) and I have been out three times now and have our fourth date scheduled for Saturday. He's coming over to my house to fix whatever I want and then we're going to eat pizza and watch a BBC series. For our last date, he took me to dinner and ice skating and then served me sparkling cider while we played games at his house.
I went out with a fella named Paul #1 (because there are two Pauls in my life currently). I thought he was a nice enough guy, but we didn't really hit it off. Then at the end of the date, he didn't walk me to the door. I was shocked-- that had never happened to me before. I wrote him off (and counted myself lucky because numbering Pauls is a bit de-humanizing, don't you think?), so you can imagine my surprise when he called the very next day. I was so shocked and unprepared that I just let him leave a message and we've been playing phone tag since then. (perhaps his lack of walking me to the door can be attributed to the fact that he's an engineer?)
Paul #2 has been emailing and texting daily and says he'll call tonight. He once complimented me on my proper use of grammar, so that won him big points in my book.
Sam currently lives in my same little town, but used to live in New York. Plus, he takes care of his elderly grandma, so he won points with me. He's been emailing.
Josh is the dreamy engineer mentioned above. He is so funny and smart and ambitious. Plus, I love my men to be nerdy and handy.
It occurred to me the other day that if all of these guys progress to the dating level, there won't be enough days in the week! But, let's not count our eggs before they've hatched. It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Back in the Saddle Again
As most of you know, I ended my relationship with Boy I Really Like (hereafter Ex #2). We won't take the time to rehash the details of getting into and out of that relationship. Sufficient to say, it ended. It was sad, but I'm glad we had a relationship. I learned a lot and it was really really great getting to know him and love him and be loved by him. But now, on to the next big thing. I gave myself about a month to recover and now I'm dating again.
Last night, a guy I met online called for a first date. We're going to see a play in Orem.
I decided that since I'm dating again now, I should call Brown Shorts (he's a UPS man so "Brown Shorts" is what my boss calls him). I went out with him once before I became exclusive with Ex #2. He told me to be sure to call if I'm ever available again, so I did. And this is the main point of the blog.
Calling a boy you previously shot down is an awkward experience. For me, it wasn't so much the fact that I had once rejected him as much as the fact that I had to call him: be the pursuer, not the receiver, temporarily leave behind my feminine energy. But since I had told him to stop calling me, the ball was in my court, so I had to. But what to do when I called? Should I ask him out? Just tell him he's allowed to ask me out again and I'd like him to? That seems unfair, since he would be caught totally off-guard. So should I invite him to do something? Should I plan it and pay for it?
Being the man is hard! You have to decide on a good time to call, and when you do call you don't know if you have his attention (if a boy calls you, you KNOW you have his attention). And you have to wonder if your potential sweetie is (still) interested. This should not be my job! But I suppose that's the price to pay for denying a guy (especially after one of your best first dates ever. Too bad ex #2 had a month head start on sweeping me off my feet.)
So I called him. It's very different being on the aggressor side of the equation. Mostly notably, I felt like I had to lead the conversation. Since I initated the call, I was sort of in charge. I had to come up with things to say, instead of just responding and being charming while the man worries about the details.
This whole thing is making me even more appreciative of men and how wonderful they are. No wonder men are some of my favorite people.
The phone call to Brown Shorts went great. He was super excited I had called and said he was definitely still interested in me. I said that normally I'd invite him over to dinner, but my house is a disaster while I'm redecorating, so perhaps we could go out to dinner instead. Now I'm trying to decide if I need to be the one to plan the date, since I think I technically invited him. Planning a good date is hard work!! I'm glad that normally my job is to just show up and be beautiful and charming!
After the lovely phone conversation with Brown Shorts, I headed out for an evening with my friend Valerie (I just decided that I'll use real names for my lady friends). Valerie told me that Ex #1 is now dating one of her co-workers. For some reason, that really tickeled me and I laughed and laughed. In fact, I'm still laughin now. And to Valerie's friend, I just have to say, "Best wishes. I hope every happiness for you. And good luck with that."
Last night, a guy I met online called for a first date. We're going to see a play in Orem.
I decided that since I'm dating again now, I should call Brown Shorts (he's a UPS man so "Brown Shorts" is what my boss calls him). I went out with him once before I became exclusive with Ex #2. He told me to be sure to call if I'm ever available again, so I did. And this is the main point of the blog.
Calling a boy you previously shot down is an awkward experience. For me, it wasn't so much the fact that I had once rejected him as much as the fact that I had to call him: be the pursuer, not the receiver, temporarily leave behind my feminine energy. But since I had told him to stop calling me, the ball was in my court, so I had to. But what to do when I called? Should I ask him out? Just tell him he's allowed to ask me out again and I'd like him to? That seems unfair, since he would be caught totally off-guard. So should I invite him to do something? Should I plan it and pay for it?
Being the man is hard! You have to decide on a good time to call, and when you do call you don't know if you have his attention (if a boy calls you, you KNOW you have his attention). And you have to wonder if your potential sweetie is (still) interested. This should not be my job! But I suppose that's the price to pay for denying a guy (especially after one of your best first dates ever. Too bad ex #2 had a month head start on sweeping me off my feet.)
So I called him. It's very different being on the aggressor side of the equation. Mostly notably, I felt like I had to lead the conversation. Since I initated the call, I was sort of in charge. I had to come up with things to say, instead of just responding and being charming while the man worries about the details.
This whole thing is making me even more appreciative of men and how wonderful they are. No wonder men are some of my favorite people.
The phone call to Brown Shorts went great. He was super excited I had called and said he was definitely still interested in me. I said that normally I'd invite him over to dinner, but my house is a disaster while I'm redecorating, so perhaps we could go out to dinner instead. Now I'm trying to decide if I need to be the one to plan the date, since I think I technically invited him. Planning a good date is hard work!! I'm glad that normally my job is to just show up and be beautiful and charming!
After the lovely phone conversation with Brown Shorts, I headed out for an evening with my friend Valerie (I just decided that I'll use real names for my lady friends). Valerie told me that Ex #1 is now dating one of her co-workers. For some reason, that really tickeled me and I laughed and laughed. In fact, I'm still laughin now. And to Valerie's friend, I just have to say, "Best wishes. I hope every happiness for you. And good luck with that."
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