In the past two weeks, I've been on five dates with four different men (two first dates, one second date, and a fourth and fifth). In addition to this, there are currently three other men who email me every day and/or call occasionally.
And while each date, email, or phone conversation individually is fun and delightful, all-in-all, I'm getting a little tired of it. It's so much WORK to juggle this many guys. I mean just keeping them straight in my phone is a job. I have to label them with titles like "Matt from the Wedding" "Josh from Phoenix" "Thomas from Blood Bank" etc. I mean, I already told you about it becoming necessary to number people. Thankfully, Paul #1 and Paul #2 have both been disqualified from consideration now, so that simplifies things a bit.
I guess that's the update for now. Of the seven men listed above, there is one I like slightly more than the rest, but not enough to stop dating everyone else. Also of note, is the fact that I'm going to have to give the guy I've been out with five times the boot before too long. However, apparently not before the two dates he's already booked me for this week. He's such a super terrific guy, it's too bad he's not going to work out for me.
Also of concern: Valentine's Day. Eek.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Deluge
Friday night after work, I did some shopping at G.ateway (an ourdoor mall about 20 minutes from where I work). (it was an extraordinarily successful shopping trip, but that is not part of the story.) Towards the end of the evening I was walking down an empty sidewalk when I saw a man walking towards me. He was very familiar looking to me, so I stared at him as we walked, trying to place him. I noticed he was staring at me too, and sort of smirking, so he recognized me as well. After we passed I realized that he was a friend of Ex. #1. I felt sort of like a dork because I was in the ugliest pants I have ever owned in my life (hence, the need of a successful shopping trip) AND I figured he would be judging me for being out shopping alone on a Friday night instead of being on a date (in my defense, I was meeting a friend later that night).
But then I remembered: at that very moment, I had on my phone 2 voice messages from men wanting to take me out that I hadn't even bothered listening to yet, plus an unread email from a dreamy engineer in Phoenix who has been emailing twice a day. He might not have known any of that, but I did and it felt good.
Matt (formerly "Brown Shorts" but I've decided to start using real names) and I have been out three times now and have our fourth date scheduled for Saturday. He's coming over to my house to fix whatever I want and then we're going to eat pizza and watch a BBC series. For our last date, he took me to dinner and ice skating and then served me sparkling cider while we played games at his house.
I went out with a fella named Paul #1 (because there are two Pauls in my life currently). I thought he was a nice enough guy, but we didn't really hit it off. Then at the end of the date, he didn't walk me to the door. I was shocked-- that had never happened to me before. I wrote him off (and counted myself lucky because numbering Pauls is a bit de-humanizing, don't you think?), so you can imagine my surprise when he called the very next day. I was so shocked and unprepared that I just let him leave a message and we've been playing phone tag since then. (perhaps his lack of walking me to the door can be attributed to the fact that he's an engineer?)
Paul #2 has been emailing and texting daily and says he'll call tonight. He once complimented me on my proper use of grammar, so that won him big points in my book.
Sam currently lives in my same little town, but used to live in New York. Plus, he takes care of his elderly grandma, so he won points with me. He's been emailing.
Josh is the dreamy engineer mentioned above. He is so funny and smart and ambitious. Plus, I love my men to be nerdy and handy.
It occurred to me the other day that if all of these guys progress to the dating level, there won't be enough days in the week! But, let's not count our eggs before they've hatched. It will be interesting to see what happens next.
But then I remembered: at that very moment, I had on my phone 2 voice messages from men wanting to take me out that I hadn't even bothered listening to yet, plus an unread email from a dreamy engineer in Phoenix who has been emailing twice a day. He might not have known any of that, but I did and it felt good.
Matt (formerly "Brown Shorts" but I've decided to start using real names) and I have been out three times now and have our fourth date scheduled for Saturday. He's coming over to my house to fix whatever I want and then we're going to eat pizza and watch a BBC series. For our last date, he took me to dinner and ice skating and then served me sparkling cider while we played games at his house.
I went out with a fella named Paul #1 (because there are two Pauls in my life currently). I thought he was a nice enough guy, but we didn't really hit it off. Then at the end of the date, he didn't walk me to the door. I was shocked-- that had never happened to me before. I wrote him off (and counted myself lucky because numbering Pauls is a bit de-humanizing, don't you think?), so you can imagine my surprise when he called the very next day. I was so shocked and unprepared that I just let him leave a message and we've been playing phone tag since then. (perhaps his lack of walking me to the door can be attributed to the fact that he's an engineer?)
Paul #2 has been emailing and texting daily and says he'll call tonight. He once complimented me on my proper use of grammar, so that won him big points in my book.
Sam currently lives in my same little town, but used to live in New York. Plus, he takes care of his elderly grandma, so he won points with me. He's been emailing.
Josh is the dreamy engineer mentioned above. He is so funny and smart and ambitious. Plus, I love my men to be nerdy and handy.
It occurred to me the other day that if all of these guys progress to the dating level, there won't be enough days in the week! But, let's not count our eggs before they've hatched. It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Back in the Saddle Again
As most of you know, I ended my relationship with Boy I Really Like (hereafter Ex #2). We won't take the time to rehash the details of getting into and out of that relationship. Sufficient to say, it ended. It was sad, but I'm glad we had a relationship. I learned a lot and it was really really great getting to know him and love him and be loved by him. But now, on to the next big thing. I gave myself about a month to recover and now I'm dating again.
Last night, a guy I met online called for a first date. We're going to see a play in Orem.
I decided that since I'm dating again now, I should call Brown Shorts (he's a UPS man so "Brown Shorts" is what my boss calls him). I went out with him once before I became exclusive with Ex #2. He told me to be sure to call if I'm ever available again, so I did. And this is the main point of the blog.
Calling a boy you previously shot down is an awkward experience. For me, it wasn't so much the fact that I had once rejected him as much as the fact that I had to call him: be the pursuer, not the receiver, temporarily leave behind my feminine energy. But since I had told him to stop calling me, the ball was in my court, so I had to. But what to do when I called? Should I ask him out? Just tell him he's allowed to ask me out again and I'd like him to? That seems unfair, since he would be caught totally off-guard. So should I invite him to do something? Should I plan it and pay for it?
Being the man is hard! You have to decide on a good time to call, and when you do call you don't know if you have his attention (if a boy calls you, you KNOW you have his attention). And you have to wonder if your potential sweetie is (still) interested. This should not be my job! But I suppose that's the price to pay for denying a guy (especially after one of your best first dates ever. Too bad ex #2 had a month head start on sweeping me off my feet.)
So I called him. It's very different being on the aggressor side of the equation. Mostly notably, I felt like I had to lead the conversation. Since I initated the call, I was sort of in charge. I had to come up with things to say, instead of just responding and being charming while the man worries about the details.
This whole thing is making me even more appreciative of men and how wonderful they are. No wonder men are some of my favorite people.
The phone call to Brown Shorts went great. He was super excited I had called and said he was definitely still interested in me. I said that normally I'd invite him over to dinner, but my house is a disaster while I'm redecorating, so perhaps we could go out to dinner instead. Now I'm trying to decide if I need to be the one to plan the date, since I think I technically invited him. Planning a good date is hard work!! I'm glad that normally my job is to just show up and be beautiful and charming!
After the lovely phone conversation with Brown Shorts, I headed out for an evening with my friend Valerie (I just decided that I'll use real names for my lady friends). Valerie told me that Ex #1 is now dating one of her co-workers. For some reason, that really tickeled me and I laughed and laughed. In fact, I'm still laughin now. And to Valerie's friend, I just have to say, "Best wishes. I hope every happiness for you. And good luck with that."
Last night, a guy I met online called for a first date. We're going to see a play in Orem.
I decided that since I'm dating again now, I should call Brown Shorts (he's a UPS man so "Brown Shorts" is what my boss calls him). I went out with him once before I became exclusive with Ex #2. He told me to be sure to call if I'm ever available again, so I did. And this is the main point of the blog.
Calling a boy you previously shot down is an awkward experience. For me, it wasn't so much the fact that I had once rejected him as much as the fact that I had to call him: be the pursuer, not the receiver, temporarily leave behind my feminine energy. But since I had told him to stop calling me, the ball was in my court, so I had to. But what to do when I called? Should I ask him out? Just tell him he's allowed to ask me out again and I'd like him to? That seems unfair, since he would be caught totally off-guard. So should I invite him to do something? Should I plan it and pay for it?
Being the man is hard! You have to decide on a good time to call, and when you do call you don't know if you have his attention (if a boy calls you, you KNOW you have his attention). And you have to wonder if your potential sweetie is (still) interested. This should not be my job! But I suppose that's the price to pay for denying a guy (especially after one of your best first dates ever. Too bad ex #2 had a month head start on sweeping me off my feet.)
So I called him. It's very different being on the aggressor side of the equation. Mostly notably, I felt like I had to lead the conversation. Since I initated the call, I was sort of in charge. I had to come up with things to say, instead of just responding and being charming while the man worries about the details.
This whole thing is making me even more appreciative of men and how wonderful they are. No wonder men are some of my favorite people.
The phone call to Brown Shorts went great. He was super excited I had called and said he was definitely still interested in me. I said that normally I'd invite him over to dinner, but my house is a disaster while I'm redecorating, so perhaps we could go out to dinner instead. Now I'm trying to decide if I need to be the one to plan the date, since I think I technically invited him. Planning a good date is hard work!! I'm glad that normally my job is to just show up and be beautiful and charming!
After the lovely phone conversation with Brown Shorts, I headed out for an evening with my friend Valerie (I just decided that I'll use real names for my lady friends). Valerie told me that Ex #1 is now dating one of her co-workers. For some reason, that really tickeled me and I laughed and laughed. In fact, I'm still laughin now. And to Valerie's friend, I just have to say, "Best wishes. I hope every happiness for you. And good luck with that."
Friday, October 22, 2010
Seriously, raining.
Last night I went to an elaborate costume, murder mystery dinner party with a bunch of people I don't know. It was an awesome set-up, not only because it was in a beautiful lodge in Park City, but also because during the coarse of the evening/day, I experienced a deluge of men such as I have never experienced before.
First, I was distracted because the party was keeping me from talking to Boy I Really Like.
Second, because I had a date the next day with a boy who is not Boy I Really Like, and I was trying to decide if that was unfair to both of the boys.
Third, because a guy I used to make out with but haven't spoken to in six months had randomly started calling, texting, and g-chatting me that day.
So that was the set-up.
A few minutes after I arrived I was approached by a very handsome young man I had never seen before but inexplicably knew exactly who I was and was excited to meet me. Turns out it was Peter, who has been on my "Potential Romantic Partner" list for several months. We have four totally unrelated mutual friends and at least two of them have been trying to hook us up ever since my break-up. Oddly, in the murder myster play (where all the guests have roles) he was cast as the man the lord of the manor was forcing me to marry against my will. So it was hard to seperate life from art, but there was a lot of flirty interaction there. That was a fun. He seems like my type of guy, which was fun.
Then, during the party I get a voicemail from The Physicist, who I had written off because he hadn't called in three weeks. Apparently, he'd like me to write him back in.
Next, I got a text message message from My Ex telling me that he'd broken it off with a girl he'd been dating. Why would he bother to tell me that? I'm not sure, but Boy I Really Like is convinced that he's trying to plan a comeback. S.O.L. loser! Still, it's good to know that he might be ruing the day he let me slip away. Ha ha ha!
Throughout the evening, I was also constantly surrounded by the boy who was assigned to be my secret serf love. He was definitely interested as manifested by the constant attempts at snuggling and more so by the fact that he ran down a mountain to get my car as soon as I wanted to leave.
In hindsight, I realize that the Sheriff (role assigned in the play, not his actual profession) was around a whole lot and kept talking to me. I didn't realize it at the time because I was busy texting (I gave up paying attention to the party after 2.5 hours), but whenever I looked up from my texting, he was there asking me about myself, etc. So, maybe I missed an opportunity there, but that's okay.
It was one of those days wonderful days when I felt like the world was my oyster and things were just lining up for me. Because these things always happen once you decide to stop looking, which is pretty much where I am right now, which is very happy.
First, I was distracted because the party was keeping me from talking to Boy I Really Like.
Second, because I had a date the next day with a boy who is not Boy I Really Like, and I was trying to decide if that was unfair to both of the boys.
Third, because a guy I used to make out with but haven't spoken to in six months had randomly started calling, texting, and g-chatting me that day.
So that was the set-up.
A few minutes after I arrived I was approached by a very handsome young man I had never seen before but inexplicably knew exactly who I was and was excited to meet me. Turns out it was Peter, who has been on my "Potential Romantic Partner" list for several months. We have four totally unrelated mutual friends and at least two of them have been trying to hook us up ever since my break-up. Oddly, in the murder myster play (where all the guests have roles) he was cast as the man the lord of the manor was forcing me to marry against my will. So it was hard to seperate life from art, but there was a lot of flirty interaction there. That was a fun. He seems like my type of guy, which was fun.
Then, during the party I get a voicemail from The Physicist, who I had written off because he hadn't called in three weeks. Apparently, he'd like me to write him back in.
Next, I got a text message message from My Ex telling me that he'd broken it off with a girl he'd been dating. Why would he bother to tell me that? I'm not sure, but Boy I Really Like is convinced that he's trying to plan a comeback. S.O.L. loser! Still, it's good to know that he might be ruing the day he let me slip away. Ha ha ha!
Throughout the evening, I was also constantly surrounded by the boy who was assigned to be my secret serf love. He was definitely interested as manifested by the constant attempts at snuggling and more so by the fact that he ran down a mountain to get my car as soon as I wanted to leave.
In hindsight, I realize that the Sheriff (role assigned in the play, not his actual profession) was around a whole lot and kept talking to me. I didn't realize it at the time because I was busy texting (I gave up paying attention to the party after 2.5 hours), but whenever I looked up from my texting, he was there asking me about myself, etc. So, maybe I missed an opportunity there, but that's okay.
It was one of those days wonderful days when I felt like the world was my oyster and things were just lining up for me. Because these things always happen once you decide to stop looking, which is pretty much where I am right now, which is very happy.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Introduction
For the last several years I have noticed a deep and divisive gulf between the daters and non-daters of the world. Having spent the bulk of my life in the latter category, I have been interested in switching over. Moving across the country to start a new life helped: within two months I was dating a great guy (and in fact even had to cancel a date with someone else when we decided to become exclusive). The great guy and I decided to get married but then I decided to breakup with him. It was tough, but I see clearly now (three months later) that it was for the best.
The breakup has skyrocketed me into the dater category. I think it's at least partially because I'm accustomed to being loved and adored and think it's par for course now.
That is part of the secret to being a dater-- expecting to be pursued and adored. The other part of the secret is not caring whether you date or not. When a guy stops calling or doesn't even start calling, a dater barely notices as she moves on with her fabulous life.
I like being a dater. I am meeting and being pursued by several totally awesome guys. I love getting to know them, and it's always wonderful to remember how many wonderful men there are out there.
But it is not without its difficulties. All sorts questions and problems come up. For example, what does one do when you're asked out by a guy your friend has a crush on? How do you get anything else done when you go out with two different guys in one weekened? Why does a nice, freedom-loving girl like me keep attracting socialists? Furthermore, how are you suppose to keep everyone straight when you go out with three different guys in one week ("Did we discuss whether you support BYU or U of U?" "Are you the one with nine brothers and sisters?" "Where did you grow up again?" and my all-time least-favorite thing to have to ask: "Have I already told you this story?")?
Once the dating karma is flowing, it seems men don't even have to be in my presence to sense it. For example, I received an email via facebook yesterday from a total stranger. Here's my favorite part: "Truth me told, all I can say is I have seen shooting stars and have been a witness to many a miracle, but never have my eyes beheld nor have my ears heard of such a beautiful heaven sent angel." I will not be replying to said email, but I think it proves my point.
Now as I move forward with being a dater, my challenge will be to remain cool, calm, collected, and somewhat nonchalant as various dating companions become more attractive to me and I begin to really want a particular one (or two) to keep calling, texting, and asking me out. I must remain calm and (at least for now) emotionally detached. And I must remember the third secret to being a successful female dater: it is all about me! I am the prize to be chased, not someone who sits around pining. Yes, this is very empowering. No wonder so many men are attracted to me these days.
So, the point of this blog is to chronical my dating adventures in an anoymous blog where my dates won't find them but I can report to my friends. Hehehe. I love being sneaky.
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